We’re (not) painting the roses red anymore

For the past five years, Valentine’s Day has been celebrated in Saudi Arabia in the grandest of ways, scenes I once honestly thought would only be possible in my dreams or across country borders.

Never did I think I’d see so many delivery trucks and cars zip through Saudi cities, delivering everything from long-stem roses to chocolates and plush toys on a day once deemed as anti-ethical to Islamic propriety.

Today, private dinners for two in the most romantic settings organized by event planners and cooked by Saudi chefs, local jewelry designers releasing special editions — and let’s not get started on chocolate and dessert vendors — are being promoted left, right, and center.

Cliche or not, it works and pulls on every girl’s heartstrings.

When I think of Valentine’s Day, I think of my parents and their epic love story that swells my heart.

Having lived Stateside for most of their marriage, my father, the love-struck romantic that he was, would come home every February 14 with a red box, never flowers or roses, always a red box with gifts my mother still holds dear, even after his passing some years ago.

My mother still remembers every red box with unique gifts neatly placed amid a lavish collection of gold and white tissue paper. It’s been over 25 years since she received a Valentine’s Day gift, but she keeps every gift my late father sent her carefully on her dresser.

Similarly, a good friend told me of his parents’ whirlwind love and their adoration for one another. On one Valentine’s Day, his mother gave her husband a small card with the words “I love you Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, every day of the week” and signed it with the nickname he’d given to her, Misty. In return, he bought her the biggest card he could find and filled it with words of adoration, surrounding it with a giant bunny.

A memory that still brings tears to her eyes all these years after his passing.

These are the memories that last; these are the memories many are creating here in the Kingdom.

I, like many, was confused as to why birthdays and anniversaries were prohibited in Saudi Arabia. It’s celebrating love! I grew up surrounded by this love, these small gestures, gifts on birthdays and anniversaries, little notes on these special occasions from my siblings.

Taking that away from us was anti-ethical.

While some might say it’s an overrated occasion, others believe it’s one of many beautiful days to show love, how they want to, to their significant others.

Today, couples find new ways to express their love and devotion to one another through small or grand gestures, something that was once hidden from the public’s eye in fear of being persecuted by the since-abolished Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice.

Many Saudis and expatriates would have to arrange for gifts weeks ahead, and in secret. Flower shops would remove all traces of red and pink roses, teddy bears were removed from vendors, and even cards weren’t available for sale.

Some shop owners would close on what should have been the busiest day in the whole year.

The scenes would remind me of Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland,” based on Lewis Carroll’s Alice books, when the cards were painted red because it was the queen’s choice.

We’re no longer painting the roses red.

It changed in 2018 when Saudi cleric and former Director General of the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice in Makkah, Sheikh Ahmed Qasim Al-Ghamdi, said that celebrating Valentine’s Day was no different from Mother’s Day, Teacher’s Day, National Day, birthdays or marriage anniversaries. It was not “un-Islamic.”

He said that “celebrating Valentine’s Day does not contradict Islamic teachings as it is a worldly, social matter, just like celebrating the National Day and Mother’s Day.”

He added: “It is a humane and a social matter and congratulating people for it is not against Sharia.

“All these are common social matters shared by humanity and are not religious issues that require the existence of religious proof to permit it.

“There are many worldly things that we deal with morally that may be of interest to non-Muslim communities and became more common among Muslim communities because of their popularity.

“The Prophet dealt with many worldly things that came from non-Muslims.”

I was living in Europe at the time, for my studies. I couldn’t believe my eyes or ears and thought it might be a joke or fake news until I read it on Arab News’ website the next day and watched the whole interview on Al-Arabiya.

The news shocked everyone across the Kingdom and beyond. I was still skeptical until I spoke to my best friend a few days later, who was elated to have received a Valentine’s Day gift from her husband.

She told me: “Finally! I get to celebrate the way we want to.”

Such changes were appearing across the Kingdom, something that I experienced firsthand when I finally returned home after more than a decade abroad later that year. It was a welcome culture shock.

Walking down the Riyadh Boulevard last year, my mother and I were both in awe as large hearts were displayed on the district’s big LED screens. I saw a small smile light up my mother’s beautiful face as she recalled my father’s gifts from all those years ago.

One thing’s for sure, Valentine’s Day is here to stay in Saudi Arabia.

• Rawan MJ Radwan is a journalist and deputy section editor of the Spotlight and special projects department at Arab News.