How to curb 65% first-year divorce rate among Saudis, Arabs

In 2021, Netflix aired the science-fiction British series “The One” bringing to life a world where there is way to measure love and find one’s soulmate. 

The idea is that everyone has a gene matched with one other person, who they are destined to be with for life, and alludes to an experiment in the show conducted on fire ants. 

Genetically identical individuals, as depicted in the show, are entirely compatible in their thoughts, face no conflicts, and willingly submit to one another from the very first encounter.

While such dramatic notions may seem far-fetched, if they were to become a reality, they could solve significant issues, including high divorce rates. They would prevent people with incompatible behaviors and temperaments from marrying.

I believe this is worth researching and studying due to its significance, and its achievement is not unlikely in my opinion. In fact, scientists John Gottman and Robert Levenson developed a method in 1986 that, they argued, could predict the fate of nine out of 10 marriages. 

They did so by studying the spontaneous daily routines of married couples and placed sensors on their bodies to measure heart rate, blood pressure, and hormonal fluctuations. 

Additionally, a study conducted in 2016 followed 135 marriages for four years. It concluded that 69 percent of those with high expectations were at risk of having failed marriages and problems.

In contrast, those with lower expectations were more likely to succeed and enjoy long-lasting relationships.

Having stable and more marriages is not a luxury at all because birth rates should be increased. The state needs these measures for social and economic purposes, especially given the increasing number of people divorcing with no children.

The failure of the marriage institution not only affects the couple but also impacts the national economy. In the future, the number of young citizens in the labor market will decline, there will be more elderly people, and the influx of foreign workers will increase.

This scenario will mirror what is happening in most Western European countries.

According to data published by Saudi Arabia’s General Authority for Statistics in 2022, there one divorce among citizens every 10 minutes, seven every hour, and 168 daily, marking a 12 percent increase from 2019.

Overall, divorce rates in the Kingdom have increased sixfold between 2012 and 2022. 

In Japan, as part of their tradition of celebrating beginnings and endings, the nation’s couples hold an average 250,000 divorce ceremonies each year.

During these ceremonies, the divorcees break their wedding rings with a hammer and place them in the mouth of a large frog because the word “frog” symbolizes change in Japanese.

In Shanghai, China, according to the housing system known as the Hukou, a woman cannot own property unless she is married.

In ancient civilizations, romance and emotions between couples were not central to marriage. The Arabs introduced this notion through Andalusian muwashahat (poetic songs) and classical Arabic poetry.

These cultural elements were later integrated into European medieval literature and played a significant role in promoting chaste love, or courtly love. 

This was popularized by traveling troubadour poets in Spain, France, Italy, and other regions, transforming it into a global phenomenon. Eventually, it became linked to the concept of monogamous marriage, which began around 2100 B.C. in ancient Mesopotamia, or modern-day Iraq.

Experts attribute the rising divorce rates in Saudi Arabia to several factors, the most prominent being the high cost of living and wedding expenses, addiction to social media, and the influence of online influencers. 

Many couples often compare their marriages to those of influencers, who, in reality, are far from perfect, as their ongoing family scandals are publicly shared without reservations on their platforms. 

This has led to a staggering 90 percent of divorce cases in the Kingdom being initiated by women who, seemingly influenced by these figures, seek to end their marriages if their demands are not met, according to family counselor, Nasser Jumaiah's interview with Ya Halla show on Rotana Khaleejiah.

I personally commend the reactivation of the marriage loan program by the Social Development Bank this October, after a temporary halt. In previous periods, the program provided loans totaling SR1.6 billion ($427 million), benefiting 36,000 young men and women.

Additionally, the noble initiative by Turki Alalshikh, chairman of the General Entertainment Authority, to hold the first mass wedding during the current Riyadh Season, as a part of the season’s social responsibility projects, will benefit nearly 600 young men and women. 

I believe the most important thing is to ensure the sustainability of these marriages to prevent the problem from escalating. Recent statistics indicate that 65 percent of divorces in Arab countries, including Saudi Arabia, occur within the first year of marriage.

The simplest solution is to stipulate a significant financial penalty in the marriage contract, along with a restricted freedom penalty if the marriage does not last for at least five years and results in at least three children, excluding force majeure or circumstances beyond the couple's control.

• Dr. Bader bin Saud is a columnist for Al-Riyadh newspaper, a media and knowledge management researcher, and the former deputy commander of the Special Forces for Hajj and Umrah in Saudi Arabia. X: @BaderbinSaud