Divorcees keep their children with unofficial marriages

JEDDAH: Unofficial marriage is a refuge for a divorced mother to lead a married life while keeping her children in her custody but without the knowledge of the former husband who could demand the custody of the children if he learned about the ex-wife’s marriage.
Rehab. M, said that since her divorce six years ago, several men proposed to her but her ex-husband threatened to take away her child if she married again, in spite of his marriage and children with another woman after the divorce, Makkah online daily reported.
“Now, I am married to a man but it is unregistered and kept a secret so that I do not lose my child,” Rehab said.
Inam, a doctor with two daughters, divorced for 10 years, entered into an unofficial marriage relationship one-and-a-half years ago. “As soon as I graduated, I was married to my cousin who was educationally less qualified compared to me, and throughout our marriage, he displayed a sense of inferiority. He used to quarrel with me and threaten me with his right of legal superiority as a husband to stop my work and study abroad. But I threatened him with khula (wife’s right to divorce husband). After I gave birth to the girls, I decided to separate from him. However, I am afraid he will learn about my unofficial marriage,” Inam said.
Registrar of legal marriages Ali Al-Malki said he strongly supports unofficial marriage for divorcees who wishes to lead a chaste married life, especially when her ex-husband threatens to take her children from her. He added that an unofficial marriage is not illegal according to Islamic law and such a relationship could never be called adultery.
Al-Malki said the unofficial marriage system is widespread because of the inability of the Ministry of Justice to ensure the right of custody of children below age seven for a divorced wife.
“The ministry is now beginning to take steps to give women the right of custody even if she marries again. However, a Hadith clearly states that the custody of children is with the mother as long as she does not marry and the custody will be shifted to the father in the event of the mother’s marriage even if the children are are less than seven years old,” he said.
Shariah expert Muhammad Al-Masudi said a marriage is valid if there is a guardian (waliy), an offer of marriage (Ijab) and acceptance (qubool) by the bridegroom, and without registration the marriage is formalized.
Other reasons for a woman seeking unofficial marriage include a widow losing her eligibility for pension after her husband’s death, loss of a young woman’s father’s retirement pension in addition to other social reasons.