Other side of the Mirror: Nay to these husbands

MANY YEARS AGO I used to write a column about husbands and wives and it was very funny (I once got a letter to that effect somewhere in ’98 so it must have been) and I was wondering if, over 15 years later, things have changed in this unique relationship. So I took this highly scientific quiz I had done and reworked it and had it checked out and what do you know, nothing has changed. The main question was what women dislike most in their husbands, after admitting that, of course, they do love them (as if they had a choice). In a funny ha ha fashion here is the top eight list written in to me by wives of the more discerning sort.
About three years after we got married I realized he tells lies. Not big one, but silly ones, like saying we went first class when we went economy or telling people he met the prime minister when it never happened, he can’t help it. Whenever I bring it up he says it is business strategy but what it really is, its lying, plain and simple. This complex has shrunk his stature in my eyes. It is so unnecessary and it is no comfort that some of my friends say their husband does the same thing.
His eating habits. He eats like a slob and it completely ruins the image I have of a romantic husband. He dresses well, he even talks well but when it comes to eating he is a slush machine with a gear broken. You have to look away and it doesn’t even lessen when we have company.
His inclination to support the domestic help. It galls me. Every time I say something critical he takes their side and cools them off against me so I am always the bad one. Any wife will tell you that domestic help work perfectly the moment the husband comes home but they don’t have to deal with them all day, we do. Yet, he feels I am unreasonable and our biggest fights are on this issue.
Money. Every time I spend on something we hold an audit inspection but he can spend what he likes when he likes. Fifteen years I have been feeling guilty about finances and it has strained our relationship. It makes no difference that I also earn, I am still answerable.
The male chauvinist in him. He interrupts me when I am talking, he says things like, oh you won’t understand, he decides what picture I’ll like, says things like, no point your coming to the party, you won’t enjoy it, once we had friends over and he said, we’re talking politics, not your cup of tea. What makes men think they are so smart, have you heard them talk, ninety percent of the time it is utter rubbish.
His refusal to help in the house. It is unbelievable in this day and age but my husband will not move a finger to help me on the domestic front. He sits and lounges and lies about the place but he won’t help, no way. It drives me crazy and we have had many fights about it but he won’t be bothered, says it is a woman’s job.
His habit of reporting back to his mother and father things that should be kept to ourselves. But no, mama’s babba, he must promptly call home and get their opinion, we have been married six years, have two children and still get permission from his home, you don’’ believe it, come and stay with us…if his people say okay, that is. That’s my disappointment, I am married to a man who hasn’t grown up.
He’s boring. Sure, I am married to him, but he is boring, so boring it is indescribable. People say I am lucky, they have no idea how dreary he is, so dull and obvious, his stories put you to sleep, he shows off, thinks he’s very urbane and all he is really, is a caricature, he’s laughable, it makes my teeth stand on end because he has that all knowing, I can never be wrong, aren’t I smart attitude to everyone.
Why do I stay with him? It pays the bills. He’s the tax on it.