Q. At what age was Ayesha when she married the Prophet?
(Name and address withheld)
A. The report commonly known among Muslims is that Lady Ayesha was nine years of age when she married the Prophet (peace be upon him). This report is highly suspect. It is questioned on several counts. I have written at length discussing this issue and concluded that Ayesha was between 18 and 22 at the time of her marriage to the Prophet. I will give some of the evidence briefly:
1. Prior to the Prophet’s proposal to Ayesha, she was engaged to marry Jubayr ibn Mutim, who was an unbeliever at the time. The prohibition of marrying unbelievers was not issued yet. The Prophet’s eldest daughter, Zaynab, was married to Abu Al-Aas who remained non-Muslim for many years. When the Prophet sent a word proposing to Ayesha, her father, Abu Bakr, declared: “These people (meaning Jubayr’s people) have proposed to her, but I will manage to extricate her from them.” This suggests that it was a serious arrangement that he needed to tactfully undo. Since the Prophet’s proposal was made three years before the marriage actually took place, the report of her marriage at nine years of age makes her six at the time of the proposal, and already engaged to someone else. This is highly unlikely.
2. The idea to marry Ayesha was suggested to the Prophet by one of his companions, Khawlah bint Hakeem, who told him that he needed someone to give him comfort and take care of him after his wife, Lady Khadeejah, had died. When he asked Khawlah if she had anyone in mind, she asked him: ‘Would you prefer a virgin or a mature woman?’ He asked her to name both, and she suggested Sawdah as the mature woman and Ayesha as the virgin. He told her to carry his proposals to both. Indeed, both proposals were accepted. The Prophet married Lady Sawdah shortly afterward, but delayed his marriage to Ayesha until he had emigrated to Madinah some three years later.
We need to look at the Prophet’s family situation to put this suggestion to marry someone like Ayesha in proper perspective. The Prophet had four daughters, two of them were married and two still living with him. So, he was not without company at home. His youngest daughter was at least 13 years of age. Can we imagine that the lady who realized that the Prophet needed the comfort only a wife provides would suggest that he marries a child who was six years of age at the time she made this suggestion. Would she name a child who was several years younger than his youngest daughter? She would be suggesting that he takes a child who would need to be looked after. This is totally unreasonable.
3. In the earliest and most authentic biography of the Prophet, written by Ibn Ishaq, who died in 150 A.H. a list of the people who embraced Islam in its early days is given in a separate chapter. The list includes 51 men and women, but no children. According to the general context of the biography, which remains the best for reliability, these people accepted Islam in the first four or five years of the start of its message. We find Ayesha’s name among them, with the note that she was young at the time. She was certainly young, but old enough to choose her faith and declare herself Muslim. If we say that she was only 10 at the time, and her acceptance of Islam was in year 5, then she would be 19 when her marriage to the Prophet took place, because he married her one year after his emigration to Madinah.
Further evidence can be cited to prove that Ayesha was a woman in her prime when she married the Prophet. However, this requires greater space because it involves providing the setting when certain events took place and discussing attitudes and reactions to various incidents and statements. What I can say, however, is that at the time of her marriage to the Prophet Ayesha was 18 if she was a day, but more likely, she was over 20 years of age.
Keeping Animals
Q. Is it permissible to keep an ox for reproduction, which means that it is only used for this purpose, and that one earns money through it.
M. Adil
A. I am not clear what the main point of the question is. Of course it is permissible to keep domestic or farm animals if one takes care of them, allowing them to feed properly and surrounding them with what is natural for them. Where animals are ill-treated is when we keep them in an environment that is totally opposed to their nature. Thus, when you keep birds in small cages, they are deprived of the chance to do what they naturally do, which is to be able to fly in open space. They must have enough space to fly, if one is to treat them properly. Likewise, if you keep ducks and geese on dry land all the time, then you are keeping them out of their natural habitat and that represents a hardship for them. If the purpose of keeping animals is to earn money, through reproduction or other means that involve no torture or ill-treatment, then this is permissible.
Too Fussy
Q. Someone sneezed when he was with a group of people. He said: Alhamd lillah rabbi al-alameen. Someone objected to him saying that he should have said only the first two words. Please explain.
J. Ali
A. This is being too fussy. The first two words mean “All praise be to God,” and the other two add one of God’s attributes, namely, “the Lord of all the worlds.” We are recommended to praise God after we sneeze. If a person does so and adds one of God’s attributes, particularly the one used in this instance, he does no wrong. If he simply says the first two words, he is doing what is recommended. To suggest that the addition is wrong is clearly mistaken. It indicates a too literal view, which can lead to error.
A Wrong Word of Endearment
Q. If a man calls his wife, “my daughter”, or she calls him, “my son”, does this have any effect on their relationship?
Ahmad
A. No, it has no effect on their marital relationship, but it is the wrong word of endearment to use. Islam does not accept false relations. Hence, it prohibits adoption where a couple take a child and make it their own son or daughter, giving it their surname and professing that that child is their son or daughter. Likewise, calling one’s wife as one’s daughter or mother is wrong. It leads to confusion of issues. It should not be done.
