A marriage of convenience currently takes place for financial and practical reasons, “not for love, commitment or intimacy,” says Aliya Khalid, a 28-year-old marketing executive in Jeddah. “There was a time people married to share their lives with a companion for love, support and compassion. The criterion now is financial support.”
Aliya says women in the Kingdom need to have a mahram (male legal guardian) for almost all activities and are justified in looking for means to secure their future. “We need a rich and stable man who can support us and our children. Hence marriages are no longer made in heaven but in cyberspace.”
Albeit illegal and against Shariah teachings, many families consider the status and financial capabilities of a man rather than morality and character. In Islam it is essential to consider nature, character and personality of the man on the basis of taqwa (piety), but no matrimonial site or matchmaker these days deems it imperative.
“Our parents log on to matrimonial sites like shaadi.com that I believe are pathetic beyond disgraceful,” says Zainab Mohammed, a 29-year-old Pakistani living in Jeddah. “Here they look for viable options for their sons and daughters. If the guy is in the UK and a doctor or engineer, he is the best catch.”
Shaadi.com has commenced over a million marriages in 11 years; the site is a runaway success among Indian and Pakistani parents.
“We have been brought up in Saudi Arabia and cannot adjust to men back home, so our parents make sure they find us a man who can sustain us abroad,” Zainab adds. She says most of her family friends were married through the website. Such a marriage is orchestrated for a better standard of living and financial stability. This strategic purpose makes it a political marriage.
Hamad Ansari, a 34-year-old businessman, tells Arab News, “This is absolute fraud, a sham marriage, but we cannot blame the girls and their parents. Most men also look for young girls, and most desi (Indian and Pakistani) parents look for a typical Barbie daughter-in-law who can cook, looks good and stays home.”
The concept of finding love “one click away” through matrimonial sites has customized the concept of marriage where people may choose on the basis of looks, professions and financial status. Marriages of convenience are usually derived to exploit legal loopholes and gain materialistic values.
Hamad says he feels disappointed that “egotistical materialism has revolutionized the concept of marriage, and people have happily adopted it.”
The epidemic is not limited to the expatriate company. Kholud Sajid, a 24-year-old medical student, tells Arab News, “I was married and parted ways after marriage, because my husband refused to send me abroad to pursue my academics. And people may judge me, but my father did not agree to send me abroad unless I got married and let my mahram decide.”
Kholud admits many young students who wish to travel choose to trade marriage for personal freedom. Many couples also decide to have a marriage of convenience for immigration purposes.
In a previous Arab News article, it was revealed that with an increasing number of expatriates in the Kingdom, married Saudi men resorted to marrying young expatriate women for cash through non-state recognized marriages known in Arabic as “Al-Zawaj Al-Urufi.”
“Some expatriates try to earn cash by marrying their daughters or sisters to Saudis. This has resulted in a remarkable increase in the number of such marriages,” said a source at Madinah municipality, who asked his name not be published.
Zaheer Shaikh, a 35-year-old Indian married through a matrimonial site working as a sales manager in Jeddah, believes people are accustomed to being married for modern reasons unlike the basis of Shariah. “Marriage has become a monetary policy,” he opined.
