This is the story of a 14-year-old .boy who embraced Islam through the Holy Qur’an.
I am C.S. Mathos. I was born into a secular family in 1992, in Pennsylvania. My mom remained secular for the rest of her life. She was more of an agnostic, not atheistic like I was.
To explain, I was surprisingly logical as a child, and thought that it was impossible that a God existed. Really, I didn’t care about religion back then. I had an obsession with dinosaurs, and wanted to learn more and more about them. I remember things like a T-rex weighed seven tons, a Triceratops herd would protect their young by forming a circle, and fight off the predators, and a Veloceraptor was able to run about 75 mph.
I was obviously ridiculed when my love for paleontology did not subside. It did go away (somewhat) when I became interested in dragons and such. The insults didn’t affect me very much because I was always in an “emotional shell”, keeping things I wanted to really say in my head.
When I did speak, I was most often honest, soft spoken, and didn’t have much to say, because I didn’t trust people, and I liked my imagination better than the real world.
Even when 9/11’s attacks came, I didn’t talk much, and didn’t react to it. It didn’t scare me at all; I thought the word “Muslim” was the term for an ethnic group, and I was only concerned about the Iraq war when innocent people were raped in that Abu Ghraib prison scandal.
Even then, I just got over it and became annoyed when it was repeatedly appearing on the news. When I did come out of my shell (5th grade), I fought with people about religion and politics. I believed there were hypocrisies in Christianity, which was the only religion I remembered at that time.
When I became 13 years old, I really received insults, and took them seriously. I was depressed, my grades were only acceptable, and at that time I wasn’t interested in anything.
I decided I needed a religion. I started paying attention more and more to politics, forgot about religion for the most part, and I started reading books on Hitler and WWII.
I was really interested in WWII, Nazism, and, increasingly, communism. Finally, I joined the Marxist movement. I saw myself actually fighting for something; a society that is truly free and just, equal and united.
I busied myself with the movement, and joined a group. I’m not naming it. I told people I was a communist only when they asked. Boy, you thought someone can be made fun of before I became a communist.
Don’t want to talk about it. It’s too depressing. I actually broke down crying at the dinner table because of so much torment by my classmates. I just needed a religion. I tried out Christianity, however I flat out left it. Too many contradictions, sectarianism, and hypocrisy.
I looked around, and around, I looked at everything, from Christianity to Greek Mythology. I decided to look at Islam last, since I took into account the prejudices of war and the possibility that I may actually be killed by someone due to following such a religion.
I gave up on everything else, and I said to myself: “The last thing you have to go to is Islam. Just get a Qur’an and read it. It may be what you’re looking for.”
I got the Qur’an off of a website, and got it in the mail five days after it was ordered. I started reading it, and I just saw that it was nothing as it was portrayed on TV. I saw that there was only one God, and there was no one else to worship but He. I saw this, and I wanted to join the religion.
I searched on the Internet on how to pray, and found an Islamic website, and I saw “How to Convert to Islam and become a Muslim” on the menu.
I decided that writing down how to pray was for later, conversion was needed for me. I needed to submit to God. Now. I found the Shahada, and I wrote it down. Then, I took the Shahada, and became a Muslim.
As soon as I did, the pain in my heart was gone, and I felt truly happy. I try to pray five times every day to Him.
When I can drive, I’ll drive to the nearest mosque every Friday. My own mother doesn’t even know I’m a Muslim. I’ll tell her when I’m truly ready, or when I’m an adult and live elsewhere, or I’m in college. I pray that God keeps me away from disbelief, and help me become the best Muslim I can be.
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Courtesy: Islamreligion.com
An ex-atheist’s journey to Islam
