Zahra Baintner is a German woman who traversed a turbulent phase of life to finally embrace Islam. In this concluding part of her three-part story, Baintner says she was not lucky enough to be born in a Muslim community.
My mother continued haggling with me for 2-3 days, and it did not seem that this situation is going to improve. One evening my mother’s old colleague, a Persian, called. She told him all about this development and requested him to bring me back to sanity. He calmed her down, explaining her that any opposition would just have an adverse effect, making me even more determined. Instead, he said, she should just let me go ahead as most probably this was just a whimsical idea of a 14 year old and that this phase would just pass. I sometime think that I am indeed greatly indebted to this man. Not only had he managed to calm her down, but also I was given explicit permission to visit the mosque and acquaint myself with Islam and Muslims.
I went for the first time to that little mosque in our town. On weekends it held Qur’an-classes for girls, and I rather sheepishly entered after following the instruction to take of my shoes (which was written in German and Turkish on a number of signs displayed in front of the entrance) and placing them in the racks kept for that purpose. The antechamber was full with young girls, all of them wearing headscarves and their voices mingled in the air. All of them seemed to be fully absorbed in their studies, so my presence was not noticed immediately.
Then one girl spotted me and indicated to a man in his late 30's about my presence. The other girls had also interrupted their studies and saw me with curious looks. The man who seemed to be their teacher came toward me and addressed me in Turkish. Since I did not understand him, he called a girl to translate. She came and greeted me; then she asked the purpose of my coming. She also explained that hardly ever any German comes here and that my coming was an absolutely unexpected but pleasant surprise. Her friendliness had driven out any anxiety of mine and so I told her about my desire to embrace Islam. She quickly translated what I had said, then the teacher who was called ‘Hoca’ (an honorary Turkish appellation) by his students, ushered me in and offered me a seat.
The room was neat, very clean and heated to a pleasant temperature. Overall the atmosphere was serene, friendly and warm. Since Hoca knew no German, he depended on the services of a girl to translate. He wanted to know what made me search for the truth. I explained to him that the creeds of Christianity are simply too confusing, that I tried to find solace in them, but in vain. I also told him that the little I knew about Islam made sense to me and that I instinctively felt that Islam is the right way.
Then Hoca proceeded to explain the basic beliefs of a Muslim, he told me that God is one and has no partners; that He is eternal, self-subsisting; that He has no offspring or partners and that there is nothing like Him; that He is the sole Creator of the heavens and the earth; that His is all might and power; that He is independent from His creation, but that all of us depend on Him. That whoever finds his way to Him will never be friendless or lonely… I listened attentively, absorbing each and every word. Whatever Hoca said was like balm for my soul and by noon I had recited the Kalima that ‘There is no deity except Allah and that Muhammad is His messenger.’
Much time has passed since then. I continued to visit the mosque regularly; I memorized various chapters of Qur'an and prayers. I also learnt to recite the Holy Qur’an in Arabic. Slowly but steadily my knowledge expanded. Whenever I had learnt something new it seemed to me as though I had made yet another conquest. I had made the right decision, a decision I never regretted. My mother, who although having managed to overcome her prejudices gradually, had lost any hope of this being just a temporary phase. She had probably realized that her daughter was not like the average German teenager. She could do nothing but watch my progresses helplessly, with silent surrender.
At times there was hefty opposition from her side, especially when I insisted to wear a headscarf and, a few years afterward, when I told her about my desire to marry a Pakistani and to live with him in Pakistan. My Allah however made all difficulties easy for me. Whenever I thought that now I lack the strength to reach my goal, He lent me His support and made my task easy for me. In September 1998 my mother also submitted herself to Allah and became a Muslim, thus whatever gap there had been between us was bridged and we are now not only united by the ties of kinship, but by the even stronger ties of Islam.
Allah has indeed been kind to me, and I acknowledge my inability to thank Him for His countless favors as it is due to Him. He guided me to the Truth, brought me out from darkness into the light.
He indeed is Compassionate, Most Merciful. He is the Protecting Friend of the believers, their fortress and their refuge. With Him alone hearts find solace. He alone is the origin, the source of inner peace. I pray to Him that He overlooks my many faults and lapses, and that He fashions me and all the believers according to His pleasure and that He won’t let us die save as Muslims.
I also request all of you to remember this humble bondmaid of Allah in your prayers. May Allah reward you abundantly!
• Courtesy of: ahnafmedia.com
Allah has been kind to me
