DAMMAM, 2 November 2004 — For many married couples, Ramadan inflames minor domestic frictions into full-scale disputes. The litany of woes was exemplified in a series of conversations with a cross-section of Saudi wives.

For Anesah and Muhammad, internal relations problems escalate during the month of Ramadan. Anesah believes that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Her husband does not, she says, find her food satisfactory.

During other months, he makes no comment. In Ramadan, however, he insists on eating the iftar meal with his mother or sister instead of eating with his wife.

Anesah said that she has no idea how to resolve this and keep her husband happy. As a result, arguments break out and escalate to such a degree that on occasion the family has to step in to mediate and keep the peace.

Huda is a schoolteacher in Dammam and often has to leave work early to go home to cook iftar meals for her husband. That is when problems start because her husband always complains that food is cooked late.

As a responsible mother and teacher, she is busy in the afternoons helping her children to do their homework and preparing for her school work for the following day.

This takes time and, as a result, she does not have the time to cook the iftar meal for her husband. Her husband always complains and accuses her of being lazy. She keeps the peace by admitting that she is “lazy” because of her heavy workload.

When Huda admits she is “mistaken” for not cooking on time, her husband sometimes understands that she does a great deal of work.

Fatima Khaled’s husband is very tough with her and accuses her of being lazy and sometimes leaves the house angry to his mother’s house to break his fast. He never misses the chance to complain to his mother about how lazy his wife is. His mother even began to call her and accuse her of laziness. Fatima’s response is that her husband is not a considerate person and he does not understand that she is a working woman.

Hanan tells a story that happened with her husband. “My husband left the table because I did not cook his favorite dish,” she said. She was busy doing house chores and lost track of the time, leaving insufficient time to cook what he wanted. She cooked a quick and easy-to-make dish. When he saw that it was not what he wanted, he left the table and refused to sit with them the whole day.

“My husband interferes with every detail in the kitchen and does not miss the chance to criticize me whenever he has the chance,” said Sawsan.

Her husband lived as a student in the United States for seven years and he loves to cook for himself. Ever since he got married, he considered himself the master of the kitchen and loves to criticize her cooking.